Tuesday, 21 August 2012


Before I get walloped for this, let me clarify that I'm not anti-Mother Earth, or being eco-friendly and things, it's just that sometimes I think it's getting to be a bit much.

Carbon footprint? C'mon. Didn't even know that I had any footprint apart from my giant size 8 one until recently. And I survived. Now, I feel guilty if I use the AC, the TV (maybe that's why sitcoms are only for a 22-minute duration?), the washing machine... The microwave makes me worry about some heinous rays that are gonna gobble me up (instead of my eating the food that I'd popped into it in the first place). That I'm adding to landfills with any and all non-biodegradable trash gives me nightmares. If I purchase an extra charger for my BlackBerry, I'm worried that I've defiled the environment. When I use plastic, innocent animals choke on the pieces when trashed and meet a gory end. Let's not forget that I drive to work, and that my automatic laps up precious fuel. And almost with each breath I take, I seem to be increasing my carbon footprint. It's now about the size of Bigfoot's shoe, should he be wearing one. Or two, even.

Take this new drive we have here. You're charged for every plastic bag you ask for at a store, in a bid to reduce the usage. Initially, you did see people bringing bags with them, but now, all you see is a well-manicured hand airily waving away the question of whether a bag is even wanted. What's another few rupees on the bill, anyway? Worse, you can't take these into the store with you anyway, they need to be checked at the baggage counter. So when I'm done shopping, because I thought ahead and brought my own (cloth) bag, I'm now sailing through the store, all five levels of it, with garments in hand (and a new sock or two on the floor). And then the wait at the counter to retrieve that bag. Note to self: don't try this when buying lingerie.

I'm encouraged by banks, card companies and cellular phone service providers to sign up for e-statements. Sure I will. They claim they save entire rainforests. What they don't mention are the rupees they save too. Sneaky. So as the consumer, do I get passed on a share of this surplus cash? A discount on my bill, maybe? You think!

If I'm to ride a bicycle to work, there need to be roads to support that. As it is, I'm always in danger of snogging the bumper of the car ahead of me, given the traffic we have. Don't even want to know the possible effects on a bicycle to my hand, knees or head. Public transport has no space at peak hours for even a worm to wiggle its belly through - let alone an adult human. The last I checked, both my carbon footprint and I occupy a fair amount of space, thank you.

So while I'm not saying that anything goes, there's just so much of carbon footprints, eco-friendliness and stuff that makes sense, really. Human beings have been in existence a long time, and so has the Earth. The last time the Earth tired of her populace, she purged them all. And so another race began. Won't she do much the same again, should the need arise?

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